Sorry for being such an asshole! Sometimes when I’m having fun I get carried away and forget that you lowly humans have feelings. I still love you despite that weakness. I got you some new headphones and I promise that I will attempt to try to not eat them. My pet human made some brownies (they’re in the kitchen) and said that I could give you some. For penance, I am dressed as a banana. Again, I’m sorry for my behavior, & I hope that you are still willing to occasionally scratch my butt. I love you!
Sir Moose, the cat